The Pandemic Soul

“Not so polite” time saving tips — that work, via 43folders

Is Bob Parsons kidding with this? What a bunch of bullshit. Listen, I realize that we’re all dealing with our “incredibly busy” lives and we’re just “too frickin’ busy” to give anyone else the time of day — which is exactly why we read websites like 43folders. We’re all just so damn important that we can’t do anything but focus on the one thing our lives are about: ourselves. I get that. And I don’t dispute that in certain cases, it’s time to just cut the fat out of our diet and say enough-is-enough.

But Bob’s situation is hardly one that many of us can identify with. Are there really that many people out there who have people calling up to ask for money? Unless you’re in the top income brackets, I doubt it. And most of us who read blogs are probably the kind of people who don’t have that problem, otherwise we wouldn’t have time to read blogs, right?

As I have said before, I’m really beginning to dislike people who advocate willful rudeness towards people who are doing their jobs. Don’t get me wrong: if someone is harassing me, I hang up the phone. I’m not saying you shouldn’t. (For example: a few years ago, I had TruGreen Chemlawn come and spray some deadly toxins on the lawn of a house I was renting with friends to try and make it look spiffy. It didn’t do anything, so we cancelled the service. I got calls from them on a DAILY BASIS for over SIX MONTHS even after I had sent letters, demanded they stopped calling, and spoken with numerous managers about the issue. They finally stopped, but they were harassing, and it got to the point where I would pick up and hangup to avoid further discussion. But that’s not what Bob is talking about here…) But what I am saying is, if you don’t want to talk to a telemarketer, or someone wanting money or whatnot — fine. I don’t blame you. But don’t be an asshole. Say “No thank you, remove me from your list,” and hang up. Why be “not so polite” when being polite is just as easy, and just as fast?

Moreover, if your phones are becoming such a nuisance/timewaster that you simply CANNOT get anything done, then it’s time to start being selective about who gets the numbers. Office number is the only thing given out to anyone besides your family and the closest of personal friends. You can deal with those voicemails when you feel like it. Cell phone number you give out to anyone you please, because it can be turned off. Home phone is only given to the people you want to call there. Otherwise, make sure it’s unlisted — believe me, being a person who skiptraces for hours a day, if it’s unlisted, the likelihood of finding it without talking to your relatives is small. Oh, and while you’re at it? Notify any relatives that if they’re contacted by someone looking to speak with you that they are not to give out the number.

This doesn’t seem like it’s such a difficult concept. I don’t care how important you are, if you’re going to bitch about people calling you nonstop, then it’s time to compartmentalize your contact lines and simply stop the problem altogether. But you can’t be selective about who you want to call, who you don’t want to call, when you want people to call, etc. Phones are about communication. Their purpose is communication. If you don’t want that, you have to remove the problem altogether. But being rude to people who call is just a way to vent your own personal frustrations about life, and that’s not fair to the caller.

Finally, if any one of my personal friends ever acted like I was “using [our] personal relationship to pimp [them] for a business or some other favor,” then I shouldn’t be a friend to them to begin with. Friendship is about cultivating personal relationships that are mutually beneficial. Basking in the glory that is Bob Parsons should be more than enough to require a few favors in return, if I’ve learned anything from this article. But for the rest of us real-lifers, wake up and realize that someone asking for a favor, within reason, is not enough to start hanging up on them. And if you’re concerned about it, advise the friend, politely, that you’d like a favor in return. Or, if you’re like the rest of us, you can advise them that this one’s on the house because, after all, they’re your friend — and that’s what friends are for.

Anyway, I can’t imagine anyone would want to call Bob in the first place, with the kind of behavior he is suggesting.

Bob, personal request: we’re trying to build a civilization here. Do you think that you could show some respect to your fellow humans and use some Emily Post etiquette when it comes to the phone?

UPDATE: After all the flamebaiting I’m getting from the Bob Parsons fanboys, I’m turning off comments. I have been quite polite enough to you folks, but now I am hanging up.